What is Tantra?

Common beliefs about Tantra are usually centered around sex and sexual satisfaction. But Tantra is so much more than a sexual practice. It is a way of life. Tantra developed 10,000 years ago as a form of yoga. Some of the common Ancient types include Buddhist, Taoist, Quodushka, Ipsalu and Hindu. Western Tantra is often a derivative of other forms utilizing knowledge that is still relevant today.

Today’s NeoTantra or Urban Tantra is often shared as a form of sexual ritual probably because of our interest in all things sex. But that is not the purpose of Tantra.  The journey is about living your passion and striving to reach your human potential which of course will be different for everyone. You treat others including animals with compassion and kindness. So eating tortured factory farm bred and slaughtered animals is not something Tantra embraces. We work toward a holistic lifestyle with healthy  practices such as eating vegan foods, exercise, natural products and even holistic health practices. This lifestyle helps to avoid illness as much as possibly by holistic living and eating natural foods and avoiding prepackaged, GMO, pesticide laden processed foods, eliminating stress and embracing joy and happiness. One is not expected to master all of this overnight. It is a lifelong process. The key is to just get started and work toward achieving balance in your life.

Tantra for many is a spiritual journey where one takes the time to learn his or her body, chakra systems, energy work, etc. It is up to the individual and possibly his or her teachers to choose the practices, rituals and information to form a knowledge base that can lead to consciousness, enlightenment and a blissful life. Some of these teachings include the study of Reiki, pranic healing and meditation. While some choose a celibate monastic route, others choose to embrace the Tantric teaching of pleasure and sexuality, the worldly route. Like the other teachings, it is a choice.

The  sexual aspects of Tantra awaken your sexual creative energies. One explores the divine feminine and masculine within themselves without any judgement, only love. Sex is sacred. There is no shame and within this arena each person can explore his or her authentic sexuality. How often do we (especially women) hold back on our true nature and never tell a soul what we really want or need sexually? Tantra can help those dealing with sexual fear, shame, body image issues, self hate and sexual abuse. Like anything else, it may be a process to eliminate some of these issues that others have given up, but within Tantra there is patience. Your partner or teacher is there to encourage you to live authentically.

Tantric sex is amazing! Sexual Tantric rituals can last for six hours or more! They build on our connectedness, communication and oneness with each other and God (for those who believe in God).  A sexual session includes spiritual elements, touch, sound, taste and smell. All of our senses are awakened! But there is no sexual goal such as orgasm.There may not even be intercourse at times. Sex is not defined by Tantra so it is up to the participants to determine each time they come together what they will do together or if one will be serving the other (e.g. sexual massage). The study of Tantra can include sexual positions, techniques and practices that are pleasurable. You learn to master your own body and that of the opposite sex. There are even exercises which promote healthier sex organs, stronger orgasms and help both men and women have multiple orgasms!

Remember, Tantric practices while exciting are based on mindfulness. Sex is not forced nor a race to the finish line. This mindfulness allows us to just be and take in all the sights, smells, sounds and energies to enjoy.  Whether the session includes orgasms or not, the time spent together sharing is blissful.

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Great Sex with Erectile Dysfunction

Over 30 million men in the US are dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED) and are unable to sustain an erection to have sex. This could be due to age, prostate cancer, diabetes or other illness, physical damage (e.g. car accident) or even medication which causes ED. But the end result is often the same: a degrading or nonexistent sex life. This does not have to be the case. While it would be great if the medical community addressed this issue, it is unlikely that patients will be offered some type of coaching or counseling to help them maintain or reestablish their sex life.

Even if you cannot have intercourse (penis in vagina sex) there are still many sex acts which you can participate in such as Tantric body and sexual massage, oral sex, manual stimulation, etc. If you have some function, you can work with your lover to receive pleasure based on the abilities you do have.

Communication is very important. Your lover needs to understand how your are feeling, your current abilities and frustration levels and how you envision maintaining a sex life. Set goals together to communicate and to have sex. Plan fun romantic dates that include role play, sexy foods or even sex toys! Read romance or erotic novels together. Erotic novels tend to have more explicit sexual scenes which might be a turn on for both of you. Increase your time spent on foreplay. Make intimacy which includes hugs, kissing, squeezes and maybe even a few light butt slaps a regular part of daily time together. If anything you are reading today is new to you, consider adding them into your bag of tricks! Just click on blog above for many new ideas.

Remember, your lover may be frustrated even it is not outwardly visible. We are sexual beings so it will be up to you to make sure you are not being sexually selfish. Give your lover great oral sex. Learn to use your hands to give your lover orgasms. Know the different g-spot techniques so she can have multiple orgasms. There will be times when you may not “feel like it” or your situation may be such that you do not want sex at all. Still, take care of your lover and express your love through regular intimacy and by gifting a few orgasms.

Would you like help maneuvering through this stressful time? Have you given up on a great sex life but are realizing now it is not too late, your sex life doesn’t have to be over? Dr. Harris offers private coaching by phone and 3-month programs. Persons in relationship with someone who has ED are also encouraged to get help to learn how to provide support and help maintain a great sex life. You can go here to sign up for an appointment: https://www.simplyappointments.com/dr-harris/ Save Save

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Dr. Tracy Harris

5 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Ready to add a little light spice to your sex life? Don’t worry. No hard core kink, bondage or taboo topics this time. But get ready they are coming! Right now lets look at 5 fun ways to bust the bedroom boredom blues!

1. Get out of the bedroom  Try adding some hot spice in the kitchen! Give your lover oral on the counters, sex it up on the kitchen island or eat food off of each others bodies on the table! Don’t forget the living room couch or bending her over your home office desk! Just plan ahead.  Grab towels to fold up when bending her over sharp edges and to protect fabric from the fountains of love juices. Remember not to leave any evidence for the kids!
2. Light bondage could be fun  Visit your local sex shop for some fur covered handcuffs, satin rope and blindfolds. You can also improvise with scarves, rope, ladies stockings or nighttime eye masks.  Once cuffed or tied and blindfolded, feed your lover desserts, fruit or even a meal. Tickle him or her with a feather or if you both consent, you can try a little butt slapping or flogging! Don’t forget that safe word!
3. Role play for a hot and sexy night  You both can choose to act out your evening as totally different people. Consider your favorite movie actors, celebrities or TV Personalities.  Adding costumes will take it to a whole new level! Oh yea, remember the wigs and props! Why not choose a fun theme like the wild west, pirates in search of booty or law enforcement officer protecting the family jewels from a thief who just got caught? Take your role play outdoors and be a john looking for a lady of the night. Choose a location such as a bar, club or restaurant for the excursion.  Got a little extra cash? Have her entice you at the hotel bar and then have your way with her in your hotel room. Ladies….don’t forget to get paid for your services!
4. Play a sex game  There are so many games that will introduce you to new positions and sex acts that may not normally be on the menu. You can purchase them at local sex shops or online. Try doing an internet search so that you can read others’ reviews and comments.
5. Strip tease and lap dances! I bet you already have a few movies in mind! Put on some tunes. Set out some refreshments and create a club atmosphere. Got a strobe light? She can do a lap dance or a hot burlesque routine wearing some sexy lingerie.  Get him dancing and stripping like Channing Tatum in the movie Magic Mike. Make sure he has on some satin undies so he can really get into his role!

Well, Sweet Cheeks, was it good for you? Want to read more on love and sex? More Please

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The Cunnilingus Connoisseur

There is nothing like words that are NOT supposed to go together but do.  Today we are discussing the connoisseurs of cunnilingus. Let’s just be honest here. Women love oral sex. I mean really love it especially since so many cannot orgasm during intercourse (penis in vagina sex)! For far to many, it represents the only way their lover can help them to have an orgasm. It feels great to have a wet tongue sliding across the most secret of secrets over and over again. It is an easy way to make most women orgasm rather quickly if you know what you are doing. Ladies love a man who loves oral sex…a connoisseur of sorts I’ll say. Here is what our good friend Webster has to say on the topic of a connoisseur:

con·nois·seur   noun \ˌkä-nə-ˈsər also -ˈsu̇r\

:a person who knows a lot about something : an expert in a particular subject

: expert; especially : one who understands the details, technique, or principles of an art and

: one who enjoys with discrimination and appreciation of subtleties

I couldn’t have defined it better. Now lets combine it with cunnilingus and voila we have something special! A Cunnilingus Connoisseur is a man who enjoys giving his lover pleasure, appreciates her body and her sexuality and has mastered the art of oral sex. He is an unselfish lover who takes his time allowing her anticipation and tension to build…slowly at first. You Cunnilingus Connoisseurs know exactly what I am talking about!

Yes, I know. Cunnilingus does take some oral stamina which of course, develops with practice.  But, I think we all can say it is worth every lick. If you are a Cunnilingus Connoisseur, wear this badge of honor proudly. You are truly appreciated by women across the globe.

Food and Sex the Perfect Combination

We often think of food and sex in relation to crazy, freaky movies. Remember 9 1/2 weeks? Mickey Rourke feeds Kim Bassinger just about anything he can find in the fridge while her eyes are closed. Then as honey drips down her thighs from her outstretched tongue, the scene goes sexual.  I am sure lots of moviegoers in the late 80’s pulled out the whipped cream when they got home that night!

The food and sex combination is not as taboo as it used to be. Food in the bedroom or sex in the kitchen can be a lot of sexy messiness or clean fun. At the most basic level, you can enjoy your favorite treats just before sex as part of your foreplay time. You can feed each other, enjoy tasteful kisses and sensuously eat a few bites off of your lover’s body. Now, you can take it to the next level by going beyond a snack to using your lover as your plate. Think about your favorites such as sushi, ice cream sundaes, veggies and dip, chocolate and caramel syrups, candy, flavored whip cream (yes it comes in chocolate!), chocolate dipped strawberries or other fruit. The possibilities are endless.

You can use food as a sex toy to awaken the senses and feel new sensations. Blindfolds are great forcing your lover to wait in anticipation while he, she or they focus in on the smells, textures and temperature of the food before tasting. You can lightly caress, tap, smear, rub and tickle! Always start with slow sensual movements. Give your lover time to get turned on by the different feelings and memories the food evokes. Try fruit pops, ice cream or cold foods when it is a hot day. Imagine sliding strawberries dipped in chocolate sauce sprayed with a touch of whipped cream across your lovers torso, chest, neck and lips. See yourself feeding him or her and then using your tongue like a cat to clean up the chocolate dripping and smeared across your lovers body. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? The best part is, you get to have dessert twice!

WARNING: Make sure you are not placing food in the vagina where it could later lead to infection. If your lover is blindfolded, make sure you remove seeds, pits or stems. Let your lover know not to bite down if there are foods that are hard. Test any hot food before giving it to your lover unless of course, you are into that. Finally, make sure your lover is not allergic to any foods you wish to eat off of him or her. There is nothing like a bad reaction to end your sex session really fast!