What is Tantra?

Common beliefs about Tantra are usually centered around sex and sexual satisfaction. But Tantra is so much more than a sexual practice. It is a way of life. Tantra developed 10,000 years ago as a form of yoga. Some of the common Ancient types include Buddhist, Taoist, Quodushka, Ipsalu and Hindu. Western Tantra is often a derivative of other forms utilizing knowledge that is still relevant today.

Today’s NeoTantra or Urban Tantra is often shared as a form of sexual ritual probably because of our interest in all things sex. But that is not the purpose of Tantra.  The journey is about living your passion and striving to reach your human potential which of course will be different for everyone. You treat others including animals with compassion and kindness. So eating tortured factory farm bred and slaughtered animals is not something Tantra embraces. We work toward a holistic lifestyle with healthy  practices such as eating vegan foods, exercise, natural products and even holistic health practices. This lifestyle helps to avoid illness as much as possibly by holistic living and eating natural foods and avoiding prepackaged, GMO, pesticide laden processed foods, eliminating stress and embracing joy and happiness. One is not expected to master all of this overnight. It is a lifelong process. The key is to just get started and work toward achieving balance in your life.

Tantra for many is a spiritual journey where one takes the time to learn his or her body, chakra systems, energy work, etc. It is up to the individual and possibly his or her teachers to choose the practices, rituals and information to form a knowledge base that can lead to consciousness, enlightenment and a blissful life. Some of these teachings include the study of Reiki, pranic healing and meditation. While some choose a celibate monastic route, others choose to embrace the Tantric teaching of pleasure and sexuality, the worldly route. Like the other teachings, it is a choice.

The  sexual aspects of Tantra awaken your sexual creative energies. One explores the divine feminine and masculine within themselves without any judgement, only love. Sex is sacred. There is no shame and within this arena each person can explore his or her authentic sexuality. How often do we (especially women) hold back on our true nature and never tell a soul what we really want or need sexually? Tantra can help those dealing with sexual fear, shame, body image issues, self hate and sexual abuse. Like anything else, it may be a process to eliminate some of these issues that others have given up, but within Tantra there is patience. Your partner or teacher is there to encourage you to live authentically.

Tantric sex is amazing! Sexual Tantric rituals can last for six hours or more! They build on our connectedness, communication and oneness with each other and God (for those who believe in God).  A sexual session includes spiritual elements, touch, sound, taste and smell. All of our senses are awakened! But there is no sexual goal such as orgasm.There may not even be intercourse at times. Sex is not defined by Tantra so it is up to the participants to determine each time they come together what they will do together or if one will be serving the other (e.g. sexual massage). The study of Tantra can include sexual positions, techniques and practices that are pleasurable. You learn to master your own body and that of the opposite sex. There are even exercises which promote healthier sex organs, stronger orgasms and help both men and women have multiple orgasms!

Remember, Tantric practices while exciting are based on mindfulness. Sex is not forced nor a race to the finish line. This mindfulness allows us to just be and take in all the sights, smells, sounds and energies to enjoy.  Whether the session includes orgasms or not, the time spent together sharing is blissful.

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Baby Tell Me Your Fantasies

Take some time outside of the bedroom to share fantasies with each other. Start with simple fantasies that can be easily shared and added to your sexual repertoire! Sex outside, in a different part of the house (or someone else’s house) or new positions can be a lot of fun. Surprise each other and plan fantasy dates! If one of you wants role play, then plan for costumes, props or whatever it takes to make it seem real! Just be careful not to scare each other with a robbery or kidnapping!! Throw some hints first or discuss plans.

Once you have played around with basic fantasy play, take it to the next level revealing more intimate and freaky desires. What is so taboo that neither of you have never discussed with anyone? What fetishes do you have? How does she want to be ravaged? What would he like her to do to him when he submits to her? Telling the truth can be hard sometimes, and maybe even scary. But just think of the fun you would have if your fantasies were fulfilled?

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The Power of a Hug

Hugs are a way to share energy, ground ourselves, show love and bond. There are good hugs and bad ones. I recall receiving a hug from a man once who stood eight inches away from me, reached around and patted me on the back! What the hell was that? I had no idea. His hug was  less intimate than a handshake! So awkward (to me) to say the least. It was sad that when everyone in the group was asked to give a hug, this guy wasn’t able to participate.  We were all adults and this was not a Sade Hawkins dance with hovering teachers!  I mean, if you are going to hug someone for any reason, commit to it! I am not saying you have to squeeze the breath out of someone or squish boobs. But do offer up something worth the few seconds you are embracing each other.

I have also received romance novel hugs where the other person held me tightly as if we were lovers separated by the sea for months! Hugs are powerful! Hugs are healing! Sometimes a hug is not just a hug! When a man hugs his lover, this hug represents strength, masculinity, security, love, power, dominance or numerous other characteristics. Women hug to show love, compassion and caring. As an added bonus, frequent, long sensuous hugs among lovers reduces stress and releases oxytocin (the feel-good hormone) and has lasting mental and physical effects.

Take the time to hug your lover and be a good receiver of hugs. it takes two to tango! These hugs may even lead to kissing or other physical intimacy. But do not expect sex every time you hug! It will cause your lover to run from you if he or she is not in the mood! Hug because they make you both feel wonderful and hug more often!

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Why Women Need a Sexual Voice

The term sexual voice has several meanings. Today, I am discussing the sexual, primal sounds women make during sex. It seems no matter where we have sex, we are within an earshot of others including neighbors, family members, children or even the people in the hotel room across from us. As a result, it is rare that women have the opportunity to enjoy sex without holding their voice. A woman’s sexual utterances, screams, moans and grunts represent what is happening to her body. When she holds it back in her throat, she is also holding it back in her pussy! It is like contracting one muscle in your arm or leg and others also contract automatically. Sadly, women are forced to always hold something back which keeps her from knowing her true sexuality. Until she is given the freedom on a regular basis to stop holding in her true nature, she will never know how powerful her orgasms can be.

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Sex in Nature

Many people have a nature fantasy. Feeling fresh air and sun on your body is great and provides much needed vitamin D! Sex outside in the rain, in the forest or jungle, in the back yard, in the pool or another outdoor location in the numerous possible places under the sun or moon. Plan ahead so you can find that special place. Try a picnic in the woods with wine and cheese. Don’t forget a thick blanket. Pop up a tent for some backyard camping! Drag out the old cooler filled with beer, sandwiches and fresh fruit you can feed each other. There is no limit to the many places outside you can have sex! Just be careful not to get caught, unless you want to!

I know this one was a quickie. But Hun, was it good for you? Want to read more on love and sex? More Please

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