Playing with the Senses

Looking for something new and you’re not quite ready for a 50 Shades experience? Why not play with your partner’s senses? Start with a blindfold. Use a scarf, sleep mask or whatever you have on hand to cover each others eyes. Decide who will go first or if you are initiating the experience go for it! Let’s start with sound. Are you going to play soft music or whisper in his or her ear?  Do any of the items you are bringing into the bedroom make any sounds? Then move on to taste. Taste is always a fun so bring some food into the bedroom. Feed your lover chocolate dipped strawberries, French toast with syrup, small pieces of fruit or chocolate. Have your lover guess what he or she is eating. If this is a new relationship make sure you know about any food allergies. You would not want to plan hot sex and end up spending the night in the emergency room!Avoid too much food or food that is to heavy on the stomach if you are going to have sex.

Transitioning into touch, you can use foods that you might want to lick off your partners body such as honey or an organic chocolate sauce. You may also want to have a variety of items on hand that can excite the skin, soothe  it or even tickle. Feathers, ice (if it is hot), etc. You can even buy kits that have several items that are very sensual to the touch.  Remember to start slow and use items that won’t startle your partner… at first. Work your way up to the more intense feelings. Don’t forget to use your hands and body as part of the experience. Add a little massage oil and transition into intimate foreplay or even oral sex. Be aware of your partners feelings, sounds and movement. Notice what he or she likes and dislikes. This can be a lot of fun so don’t forget to laugh!

5 Great Tips for Giving a Woman an Orgasm

Sadly, many women are orgasm deprived!  Why not try out a few tips to increase the chances your lover will climax and have an orgasm tonight? I promise, it will be fun!

Tip #1: Wet does not mean ready
Healthy vaginas are naturally moist so don’t assume she is ready for penetration just because you walk into the room with your shirt off. Foreplay is important.

Tip #2: Slow your roll
Everyone loves a quickie, but the reality is that for most of your lovemaking sessions, you will need to take your time and make the most of foreplay. Quit rushing to get to the good part! Two minutes of kissing or doing what you want is not enough. Most women need much longer in order for their bodies to be ready to make the most from sex. In fact many women need as much as a half an hour to forty-five minutes to warm up. What you are doing is building up anticipation and sexual tension so she feels like she cannot wait any longer! That definitely is a good thing.

Tip #3: Foreplay is her time
Use your foreplay time to do what SHE needs you to do to get ready to receive you. Focus on her. She will notice. Women know when your goal is to satisfy yourself. If you do not know what she likes, then have a discussion and spend some time learning her body. If you only are doing what you enjoy, then you could be turning her off and drying things up! There is always give and take, but it is important that you get the job done for her. While you might want to argue that you need to be the focus too., the reality is most men have ejaculatory inevitability so they are gonna come no matter what. Women need a lot more care and attention to detail to make it happen.

Tip #4: Sex doesn’t start in the bedroom
For many women, sex starts long before she enters the bedroom. How did you treat her all week? Did you open doors? Was there good communication? How often did you piss her off for no good reason. Did you make more work for her around the house (dirty socks on the floor)? Were you playful and flirty? Did you laugh together? All kinds of “relationship type stuff” comes into play in a woman’s head before sex…even days before. Start throwing hints early on. Be chivalrous and romantic. Give her a back rub. Hold her hand. Position yourself close to her body and let her know without words or sexual touching that you are into her. Women get tired of being groped so don’t overdo it with your advances. Show her you care and desire her. But start off subtle. Then increase your advances closer to the time you plan on having sex. That’s when it’s time to turn up the heat!

Tip #5: Know her body
Women are covered with erogenous zones and can have orgasms that are triggered numerous ways. The more turned on she is, the more erogenous zones seem to pop up! Of course every woman is different but you need to start with the basics common to most women and then learn your woman’s favorite spots. Some of the information that is available now has been hidden unless you do a lot of reading. For example, most people think the clitoris is comprised of a bump covered by a hood. But the clitoris is much longer and has has “legs” that fan out under the labia. So with that understanding, there is a lot more going on during sex. If you have been in a relationship in a long time, you may need to relearn. As women age, they change. What she liked when she was 25 may not be something she wants you to do when she is 45. Just like the mind, the body evolves.

What is Foreplay Really About?

When we think of foreplay, what often comes to mind is “getting her ready.”  OK, that is true. Foreplay does prepare a woman’s body for the sexual encounter by increasing her natural lubrication. But what I want to discuss is what it does mentally. Women with wet vaginas can have sex. But that does not mean she is ready.Jumping right into sex too early leads to weaker, shorter orgasms. So it is very important that you do not rush through foreplay. You definitely want her orgasms to be more intense.

Being ready  means she is turned on (horny) and feeling a high level of anticipation, excitement and sexual tension! She should be at the point where sex is almost impossible to resist and she needs it in order to relieve the built up tension. As her lover, make sure you prolong foreplay as long as she needs you to. Start off with a back rub, foot massage  or a body massage to relax her. One of the reasons why women do not have orgasms is that they cannot relax. Avoid sexual areas at first. Allow her to release the stress from work, the kids or her busy day. Then work your way into more sexual touching. Pay attention to her body. Watch what she is doing. Listen to the sounds she is making. Tell her you enjoy hearing these sounds and seeing her turned on. This opens the door for her to be more comfortable so she can open up and let loose. She will signal you, even if it is subtle to move on to more intimate touching and kissing. Oblige her when she is ready.