Sex and Hypnosis?

Sex and hypnosis are two of my favorite topics especially when combined!!  Many people don’t know how sex and hypnosis can be very closely related. Hypnosis can be used for many forms of sexual dysfunction and also sexual enhancement.

Hypnosis is commonly used to help persons with a variety of problems such as phobias, anxiety, smoking, pain, etc. But did you know that hypnosis can be used for n0norganic sexual problems which are those not stemming from a medical issue. For example, a man dealing with premature ejaculation may have all his plumbing in order but something is going on inside his head to keep him from taking his time during sexual intercourse.  Another example is a woman who finds penetration too painful. Her body is fine, but due to some previous experiences her mind causes her body to act out the fear of that previous experience. Persons with these types of problems who have ruled out any medical causes may visit a hypnotist or hypnotherapist for help. Other uses for hypnosis include erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, impotence, lack of orgasm in females and dyspareunia (pain) in both males and females.

On the other side of the spectrum is sexual enhancement where hypnosis is used to enhance the sexual experience. People who are interested in fantasies and erotica (like the romance novels) may purchase audio CD’s/MP3’s which enhance fantasies. This can also be done in office for a variety of reasons.  Under hypnosis, when a person uses visualization say to prepare for a sports game or competition, they are able to see the scene, hear the sounds and even smell the smells more vividly. Similarly, in a fantasy situation, listening to the scenes as described by the person on the audio (usually with a sexy voice) or in the office can help improve the mental experience. I call it mental porn. I am assuming most people are listening to the audio for solo sex. The interesting thing I found about these audios is that they are made for anyone and everyone whether you are heterosexual, gay, bisexual, etc….just like erotic novels. I am sure you can not only find a story about the type of lover you want but also story lines about any kink or fetishes that you desire.

A third category of hypnosis and sex would be considered more of an enhancement.  As mentioned above some hypnotists will provide an erotic subconscious scenario for the client to engage in, but they can also use this in a hypnosis session as part of therapy. Usually the goal here is not a fantasy per se although a client may be asked to do some visualization. In order to improve future sexual experiences the client will be given suggestions under hypnosis. Because I use hypnosis to help sports clients, I find this to be a good analogy. A goal for a basketball player may be to move faster, improve statistics and increase confidence. Each of these can be easily addressed in a few hypnosis sessions. Similarly, hypnosis and other techniques can be used to boost clients’ sexual confidence, prolong and increase orgasm intensity, gain more control over sexual organs so that sex lasts longer, etc.  Clients coming in to deal with sexual issues may wish to not only work on their problems but to eventually have heightened experiences. Similarly, a client with no history of dysfunction may choose to have several sessions with the only purpose being to improve his or her sex life.

5 Great Tips for Giving a Woman an Orgasm

Sadly, many women are orgasm deprived!  Why not try out a few tips to increase the chances your lover will climax and have an orgasm tonight? I promise, it will be fun!

Tip #1: Wet does not mean ready
Healthy vaginas are naturally moist so don’t assume she is ready for penetration just because you walk into the room with your shirt off. Foreplay is important.

Tip #2: Slow your roll
Everyone loves a quickie, but the reality is that for most of your lovemaking sessions, you will need to take your time and make the most of foreplay. Quit rushing to get to the good part! Two minutes of kissing or doing what you want is not enough. Most women need much longer in order for their bodies to be ready to make the most from sex. In fact many women need as much as a half an hour to forty-five minutes to warm up. What you are doing is building up anticipation and sexual tension so she feels like she cannot wait any longer! That definitely is a good thing.

Tip #3: Foreplay is her time
Use your foreplay time to do what SHE needs you to do to get ready to receive you. Focus on her. She will notice. Women know when your goal is to satisfy yourself. If you do not know what she likes, then have a discussion and spend some time learning her body. If you only are doing what you enjoy, then you could be turning her off and drying things up! There is always give and take, but it is important that you get the job done for her. While you might want to argue that you need to be the focus too., the reality is most men have ejaculatory inevitability so they are gonna come no matter what. Women need a lot more care and attention to detail to make it happen.

Tip #4: Sex doesn’t start in the bedroom
For many women, sex starts long before she enters the bedroom. How did you treat her all week? Did you open doors? Was there good communication? How often did you piss her off for no good reason. Did you make more work for her around the house (dirty socks on the floor)? Were you playful and flirty? Did you laugh together? All kinds of “relationship type stuff” comes into play in a woman’s head before sex…even days before. Start throwing hints early on. Be chivalrous and romantic. Give her a back rub. Hold her hand. Position yourself close to her body and let her know without words or sexual touching that you are into her. Women get tired of being groped so don’t overdo it with your advances. Show her you care and desire her. But start off subtle. Then increase your advances closer to the time you plan on having sex. That’s when it’s time to turn up the heat!

Tip #5: Know her body
Women are covered with erogenous zones and can have orgasms that are triggered numerous ways. The more turned on she is, the more erogenous zones seem to pop up! Of course every woman is different but you need to start with the basics common to most women and then learn your woman’s favorite spots. Some of the information that is available now has been hidden unless you do a lot of reading. For example, most people think the clitoris is comprised of a bump covered by a hood. But the clitoris is much longer and has has “legs” that fan out under the labia. So with that understanding, there is a lot more going on during sex. If you have been in a relationship in a long time, you may need to relearn. As women age, they change. What she liked when she was 25 may not be something she wants you to do when she is 45. Just like the mind, the body evolves.

What is Foreplay Really About?

When we think of foreplay, what often comes to mind is “getting her ready.”  OK, that is true. Foreplay does prepare a woman’s body for the sexual encounter by increasing her natural lubrication. But what I want to discuss is what it does mentally. Women with wet vaginas can have sex. But that does not mean she is ready.Jumping right into sex too early leads to weaker, shorter orgasms. So it is very important that you do not rush through foreplay. You definitely want her orgasms to be more intense.

Being ready  means she is turned on (horny) and feeling a high level of anticipation, excitement and sexual tension! She should be at the point where sex is almost impossible to resist and she needs it in order to relieve the built up tension. As her lover, make sure you prolong foreplay as long as she needs you to. Start off with a back rub, foot massage  or a body massage to relax her. One of the reasons why women do not have orgasms is that they cannot relax. Avoid sexual areas at first. Allow her to release the stress from work, the kids or her busy day. Then work your way into more sexual touching. Pay attention to her body. Watch what she is doing. Listen to the sounds she is making. Tell her you enjoy hearing these sounds and seeing her turned on. This opens the door for her to be more comfortable so she can open up and let loose. She will signal you, even if it is subtle to move on to more intimate touching and kissing. Oblige her when she is ready.

Why does she take so long?

There are many reasons why women take a long time to have an orgasm. One common reason is that their lovers rarely spend enough time on foreplay. Did you know that the average time spent on foreplay is approximately 2 1/2 minutes? Yes, everyone likes a quickie now and then, but foreplay is needed to build anticipation so she is wet and ready. The average woman needs 21 minutes of foreplay before her body is ready for sex. So, if you are only spending a few minutes “warming her up” then her mind and body are just starting to get ready while you are having sex. This means, you are probably doing a lot of unnecessary extra work and spending a lot of extra time trying to get her to climax.

So the key is to take your time. Learn her body and what forms of foreplay she enjoys. There are lots of options so choose several. Foreplay is not just kissing and grabbing her boobs! Remember, never go right for sensitive areas such as the vulva, clitoris or nipples in the beginning. Wait until she is warmed up first or else it can feel very uncomfortable. Make out the old fashioned way, like you did before you started having sex. Try giving her a foot massage or body massage. Kiss her on her favorite spots such as her neck, spine or stomach. The idea is to touch her in places that will light her fire! Then when you make your move, she she will be primed and ready!