Playing with the Senses

blindfold

Looking for something new and you’re not quite ready for a 50 Shades experience? Why not play with your partner’s senses? Start with a blindfold. Use a scarf, sleep mask or whatever you have on hand to cover each others eyes. Decide who will go first or if you are initiating the experience go for it! Let’s start with sound. Are you going to play soft music or whisper in his or her ear?  Do any of the items you are bringing into the bedroom make any sounds? Then move on to taste. Taste is always a fun so bring some food into the bedroom. Feed your lover chocolate dipped strawberries, French toast with syrup, small pieces of fruit or chocolate. Have your lover guess what he or she is eating. If this is a new relationship make sure you know about any food allergies. You would not want to plan hot sex and end up spending the night in the emergency room!Avoid too much food or food that is to heavy on the stomach if you are going to have sex.

Transitioning into touch, you can use foods that you might want to lick off your partners body such as honey or an organic chocolate sauce. You may also want to have a variety of items on hand that can excite the skin, soothe  it or even tickle. Feathers, ice (if it is hot), etc. You can even buy kits that have several items that are very sensual to the touch.  Remember to start slow and use items that won’t startle your partner… at first. Work your way up to the more intense feelings. Don’t forget to use your hands and body as part of the experience. Add a little massage oil and transition into intimate foreplay or even oral sex. Be aware of your partners feelings, sounds and movement. Notice what he or she likes and dislikes. This can be a lot of fun so don’t forget to laugh!

Why does she take so long?

why

There are many reasons why women take a long time to have an orgasm. One common reason is that their lovers rarely spend enough time on foreplay. Did you know that the average time spent on foreplay is approximately 2 1/2 minutes? Yes, everyone likes a quickie now and then, but foreplay is needed to build anticipation so she is wet and ready. The average woman needs 21 minutes of foreplay before her body is ready for sex. So, if you are only spending a few minutes “warming her up” then her mind and body are just starting to get ready while you are having sex. This means, you are probably doing a lot of unnecessary extra work and spending a lot of extra time trying to get her to climax.

So the key is to take your time. Learn her body and what forms of foreplay she enjoys. There are lots of options so choose several. Foreplay is not just kissing and grabbing her boobs! Remember, never go right for sensitive areas such as the vulva, clitoris or nipples in the beginning. Wait until she is warmed up first or else it can feel very uncomfortable. Make out the old fashioned way, like you did before you started having sex. Try giving her a foot massage or body massage. Kiss her on her favorite spots such as her neck, spine or stomach. The idea is to touch her in places that will light her fire! Then when you make your move, she she will be primed and ready!

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