What is Tantra?

Common beliefs about Tantra are usually centered around sex and sexual satisfaction. But Tantra is so much more than a sexual practice. It is a way of life. Tantra developed 10,000 years ago as a form of yoga. Some of the common Ancient types include Buddhist, Taoist, Quodushka, Ipsalu and Hindu. Western Tantra is often a derivative of other forms utilizing knowledge that is still relevant today.

Today’s NeoTantra or Urban Tantra is often shared as a form of sexual ritual probably because of our interest in all things sex. But that is not the purpose of Tantra.  The journey is about living your passion and striving to reach your human potential which of course will be different for everyone. You treat others including animals with compassion and kindness. So eating tortured factory farm bred and slaughtered animals is not something Tantra embraces. We work toward a holistic lifestyle with healthy  practices such as eating vegan foods, exercise, natural products and even holistic health practices. This lifestyle helps to avoid illness as much as possibly by holistic living and eating natural foods and avoiding prepackaged, GMO, pesticide laden processed foods, eliminating stress and embracing joy and happiness. One is not expected to master all of this overnight. It is a lifelong process. The key is to just get started and work toward achieving balance in your life.

Tantra for many is a spiritual journey where one takes the time to learn his or her body, chakra systems, energy work, etc. It is up to the individual and possibly his or her teachers to choose the practices, rituals and information to form a knowledge base that can lead to consciousness, enlightenment and a blissful life. Some of these teachings include the study of Reiki, pranic healing and meditation. While some choose a celibate monastic route, others choose to embrace the Tantric teaching of pleasure and sexuality, the worldly route. Like the other teachings, it is a choice.

The  sexual aspects of Tantra awaken your sexual creative energies. One explores the divine feminine and masculine within themselves without any judgement, only love. Sex is sacred. There is no shame and within this arena each person can explore his or her authentic sexuality. How often do we (especially women) hold back on our true nature and never tell a soul what we really want or need sexually? Tantra can help those dealing with sexual fear, shame, body image issues, self hate and sexual abuse. Like anything else, it may be a process to eliminate some of these issues that others have given up, but within Tantra there is patience. Your partner or teacher is there to encourage you to live authentically.

Tantric sex is amazing! Sexual Tantric rituals can last for six hours or more! They build on our connectedness, communication and oneness with each other and God (for those who believe in God).  A sexual session includes spiritual elements, touch, sound, taste and smell. All of our senses are awakened! But there is no sexual goal such as orgasm.There may not even be intercourse at times. Sex is not defined by Tantra so it is up to the participants to determine each time they come together what they will do together or if one will be serving the other (e.g. sexual massage). The study of Tantra can include sexual positions, techniques and practices that are pleasurable. You learn to master your own body and that of the opposite sex. There are even exercises which promote healthier sex organs, stronger orgasms and help both men and women have multiple orgasms!

Remember, Tantric practices while exciting are based on mindfulness. Sex is not forced nor a race to the finish line. This mindfulness allows us to just be and take in all the sights, smells, sounds and energies to enjoy.  Whether the session includes orgasms or not, the time spent together sharing is blissful.

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Baby Tell Me Your Fantasies

Take some time outside of the bedroom to share fantasies with each other. Start with simple fantasies that can be easily shared and added to your sexual repertoire! Sex outside, in a different part of the house (or someone else’s house) or new positions can be a lot of fun. Surprise each other and plan fantasy dates! If one of you wants role play, then plan for costumes, props or whatever it takes to make it seem real! Just be careful not to scare each other with a robbery or kidnapping!! Throw some hints first or discuss plans.

Once you have played around with basic fantasy play, take it to the next level revealing more intimate and freaky desires. What is so taboo that neither of you have never discussed with anyone? What fetishes do you have? How does she want to be ravaged? What would he like her to do to him when he submits to her? Telling the truth can be hard sometimes, and maybe even scary. But just think of the fun you would have if your fantasies were fulfilled?

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Ass Slappin Good

A little ass slapping can be fun for couples. Ladies, if you want your ass slapped, then tell your man! Give him a good indication of what you like by telling him or even showing him. If you are into some serious spanking, a real conversation must be had so he understands exactly what you want. Try watching a movie together to show him what level of spanking you would like.

Gentlemen, a light pop on the ass can be a tease! Pop her behind softly when she is fully clothed when you are horny, when no one is looking or when you just feel like it! If you think she might be into a little spanking or you are, talk to her about it. Ask her how she would like it if you two were in doggie style and you decided to tap that ass. If you get a good reaction, do it and then talk dirty to her. “Do you like it when Daddy slaps that beautiful round ass of yours?” Or you could just do it lightly on her bare bottom after she is all warmed up and ready for sex. If you dare do it without a discussion, you better be able to read her reaction! Then after sex, tell her you enjoyed slapping her ass or spanking her and see if it is something she would like you to do to her more often!

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Time to Hit the Books

Today’s erotica is not your mother’s or grandmother’s romance novel! If you haven’t picked up on the erotica craze yet, you are truly missing out. There is definitely something for everyone! A number of years ago I signed up to receive email newsletters from an erotica website which allowed customers to purchase inexpensive short stories and download pdfs or ebook reader files. To my amazement there were hundreds! The store rates the books on a heat scale from 1-5 hot peppers (ranging from vanilla love scenes to explicit, graphic sex and language) and lists so many categories it still blows my mind! There are gay male books with hunky sweaty men on the covers. There are books about interracial relationships and rubenesque women. There is even a clean and wholesome category but I wouldn’t know anything about that!

Don’t want to fantasize about humans? No problem. Your sexy hot lover could be from another world and could accommodate human females with two penises. Maybe that is too far out for you so your erotica could involve werewolves or shape shifters! But of course, there is always old fashioned hetero-erotica with bondage, threesomes, anal, horror, steampunk, historical characters and more! And the great part is you get to sample excerpts so you can determine if you are interested. Checkout https://www.allromanceebooks.com, visit your local bookstore and see what your local sex shop offers.

Once you choose a few books, read to each other. I promise these fantasy books will get you all hot and bothered and give you some new things to try in the bedroom!

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5 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Ready to add a little light spice to your sex life? Don’t worry. No hard core kink, bondage or taboo topics this time. But get ready they are coming! Right now lets look at 5 fun ways to bust the bedroom boredom blues!

1. Get out of the bedroom  Try adding some hot spice in the kitchen! Give your lover oral on the counters, sex it up on the kitchen island or eat food off of each others bodies on the table! Don’t forget the living room couch or bending her over your home office desk! Just plan ahead.  Grab towels to fold up when bending her over sharp edges and to protect fabric from the fountains of love juices. Remember not to leave any evidence for the kids!
2. Light bondage could be fun  Visit your local sex shop for some fur covered handcuffs, satin rope and blindfolds. You can also improvise with scarves, rope, ladies stockings or nighttime eye masks.  Once cuffed or tied and blindfolded, feed your lover desserts, fruit or even a meal. Tickle him or her with a feather or if you both consent, you can try a little butt slapping or flogging! Don’t forget that safe word!
3. Role play for a hot and sexy night  You both can choose to act out your evening as totally different people. Consider your favorite movie actors, celebrities or TV Personalities.  Adding costumes will take it to a whole new level! Oh yea, remember the wigs and props! Why not choose a fun theme like the wild west, pirates in search of booty or law enforcement officer protecting the family jewels from a thief who just got caught? Take your role play outdoors and be a john looking for a lady of the night. Choose a location such as a bar, club or restaurant for the excursion.  Got a little extra cash? Have her entice you at the hotel bar and then have your way with her in your hotel room. Ladies….don’t forget to get paid for your services!
4. Play a sex game  There are so many games that will introduce you to new positions and sex acts that may not normally be on the menu. You can purchase them at local sex shops or online. Try doing an internet search so that you can read others’ reviews and comments.
5. Strip tease and lap dances! I bet you already have a few movies in mind! Put on some tunes. Set out some refreshments and create a club atmosphere. Got a strobe light? She can do a lap dance or a hot burlesque routine wearing some sexy lingerie.  Get him dancing and stripping like Channing Tatum in the movie Magic Mike. Make sure he has on some satin undies so he can really get into his role!

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