Quit Rabbiting!

I was perusing the internet and I found a term that made me laugh out loud. The word “rabbiting” was used to describe the hurried almost desperate in-and-out motions of a man “thinking” he is making love. But I have no idea how men are supposed to learn these things.

Even though I got a good laugh, a real point was made. Humping up and down does not work for women sexually most of the the time. Women need men who understand the stroke! Let’s see. How can I explain. Imagine that Latino dancer gyrating his hips from left to right, in circles or figure eights. You have seen the African dancers swirling their hips an humping in a undulating motion up and down, right? Well, that is how you are supposed to reach those spots inside you woman. These men have been practicing all their lives! If you think a dance is just a dance then well, I bet you are already in need of some stroke tips!

Using different strokes in a undulating fashion provides both deep and shallow movements allowing your women to find the stroke or strokes that do it for her that day. I know we change too much. But our cycles and hormones cause us to have changes in our moods, sexual sensitivity, horniness, etc.  Varying your stroke and position will also allow you to tap her g-spot in just the right fashion.

If you want to blow her mind get in push-up position and practice different strokes! Make sure you are able to keep up with the rhythm you have set for making love. It is important that you stay on beat. Rabbiting or even stroking all willy nilly without rhythm can be really frustrating. It will back track an orgasm with the quickness! The rhythm you establish together is what builds her orgasm. Find the stoke and the rhythm of movement that makes your lover see fireworks.

Give yourself time. Stroke work takes practice. But your lover will be grateful.

The Best She Ever Had

If you want to see a woman’s face light up, talk to her about the best, most sexually masterful man she ever had.  I know there are many women who have never had this experience. Ones who have never been with a great lover. But it is wonderful to see the twinkle of excitement in the eyes of the lady who has had this pleasure.

Of course everyone’s experience was different. But there are some commonalities. The women all stated that their lover took his time, always. Men often rush to their orgasms like a race car headed to the finish line. But these lovers took their time whether it was slow lovemaking or hot sex. They understood women need time to warm up and helped the process along in natural time.

They somehow learned that sex is just as much about the process as it is about the finish. Great lovers also focus on the woman’s needs. They know they will have an orgasm no matter what so they were able to give the women whatever she desired or needed that day to enjoy the experience.  As part of that process, they figured out exactly what their lover needed to get turned on and to have one or more orgasms. Every woman is different.  A good man learns about women’s bodies and sex. A great one learns about his woman’s body!

These men knew what turned their women on. They communicated about sex and checked in to make sure she was enjoying the experience. They found what type of touch, stroke, caress, lick or even pinch felt good to her.

No it really isn’t rocket science. Just take your time. Be present and focus on her body. Figure out what she needs and then give it to her. I bet, you will reap the rewards of your efforts!

Natural Lube

Many people are eating healthier and want to extend these good choices beyond the kitchen. Today I am going to highlight coconut oil. Right out of the jar organic coconut oil is thick if the temperature is cool and liquid on warm days. Slightly thicker than most purchased silicon or oil based lube, you may find that it lasts longer. In fact you may not even need to reapply. If it is in a thicker state, you will find that it melts immediately upon coming in contact with warm fingers. Coconut oil is a natural product so persons who have reactions to other types of lube may find this to be a great option.

Before using coconut oil make sure no one has any coconut allergies. It is not safe for most condoms as it breaks down the latex. Prices range from around $6 a jar to $15 depending upon the brand and if it is organic. You may find this cheaper than other slippery options from the sex shop.

Other choices for natural lube include g rapeseed oil and also olive oil. But in my research it seems that coconut oi wins out because of its consistency and taste.

Orgasm on Command

The Matrix Trilogy is one of my favorite film series. Do you remember the scene in The Matrix Reloaded (2003) where the Merovingian’s chocolate dessert causes a women in the restaurant to have an orgasm after taking one bite? He proudly proclaimed he wrote the code himself! Well is this possible? No, I do not mean orgasm chocolate cheesecake although that would be wonderful. I mean did you ever wonder if you could cause someone else without even touching them to have an orgasm?

You will be excited to know that hypnosis can become your chocolate dessert! People can be hypnotized to recall the feelings of an orgasm that occurred previously or have one then and there. A woman can also be hypnotized and given a “trigger” (a word that will trigger an orgasm) which may be coupled with some type of gesture or touch such as rubbing a shoulder.

Imagine a man taking his wife on a date to an Italian restaurant. After completing the meal they remain to have another glass of wine and conversation.As she takes a sip of wine, he looks into her eyes and whispers “blue butterflies.” Upon hearing those words she begins to feel a little strange, a little warm. She presses her knees together and the feelings of bliss begin to take hold. She succumbs to the waves of ecstasy unable to continue the conversation…

Sex and Hypnosis?

Sex and hypnosis are two of my favorite topics especially when combined!!  Many people don’t know how sex and hypnosis can be very closely related. Hypnosis can be used for many forms of sexual dysfunction and also sexual enhancement.

Hypnosis is commonly used to help persons with a variety of problems such as phobias, anxiety, smoking, pain, etc. But did you know that hypnosis can be used for n0norganic sexual problems which are those not stemming from a medical issue. For example, a man dealing with premature ejaculation may have all his plumbing in order but something is going on inside his head to keep him from taking his time during sexual intercourse.  Another example is a woman who finds penetration too painful. Her body is fine, but due to some previous experiences her mind causes her body to act out the fear of that previous experience. Persons with these types of problems who have ruled out any medical causes may visit a hypnotist or hypnotherapist for help. Other uses for hypnosis include erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, impotence, lack of orgasm in females and dyspareunia (pain) in both males and females.

On the other side of the spectrum is sexual enhancement where hypnosis is used to enhance the sexual experience. People who are interested in fantasies and erotica (like the romance novels) may purchase audio CD’s/MP3’s which enhance fantasies. This can also be done in office for a variety of reasons.  Under hypnosis, when a person uses visualization say to prepare for a sports game or competition, they are able to see the scene, hear the sounds and even smell the smells more vividly. Similarly, in a fantasy situation, listening to the scenes as described by the person on the audio (usually with a sexy voice) or in the office can help improve the mental experience. I call it mental porn. I am assuming most people are listening to the audio for solo sex. The interesting thing I found about these audios is that they are made for anyone and everyone whether you are heterosexual, gay, bisexual, etc….just like erotic novels. I am sure you can not only find a story about the type of lover you want but also story lines about any kink or fetishes that you desire.

A third category of hypnosis and sex would be considered more of an enhancement.  As mentioned above some hypnotists will provide an erotic subconscious scenario for the client to engage in, but they can also use this in a hypnosis session as part of therapy. Usually the goal here is not a fantasy per se although a client may be asked to do some visualization. In order to improve future sexual experiences the client will be given suggestions under hypnosis. Because I use hypnosis to help sports clients, I find this to be a good analogy. A goal for a basketball player may be to move faster, improve statistics and increase confidence. Each of these can be easily addressed in a few hypnosis sessions. Similarly, hypnosis and other techniques can be used to boost clients’ sexual confidence, prolong and increase orgasm intensity, gain more control over sexual organs so that sex lasts longer, etc.  Clients coming in to deal with sexual issues may wish to not only work on their problems but to eventually have heightened experiences. Similarly, a client with no history of dysfunction may choose to have several sessions with the only purpose being to improve his or her sex life.