Skipping Sex Can Improve Orgasm Intensity

Skipping sex for a few days (or more) may not sound like fun, but it can make all the difference in the strength and intensity of male and female orgasm. Similar to the slow buildup of lava in a volcano, your body will use this time culminating in a much greater explosion!

Sure, you can spend time cuddling, kissing and even doing a little more hot and heavy petting and grinding. But do not succumb to temptation. Try activities which relieve stress and tension. Exercise does this and raises endorphin levels too. Consider getting back to that craft or hobby. Take your mind off sex for a few days.  Abstinence can be your friend. The same applies if you are running solo. Don’t have a lover right now? Taking a break from frequent masturbation can result in more intense orgasms. This applies to both men and women, but especially women using a battery operated device. The strong vibrations can cause a woman to feel almost numb after a few days of usage so your body needs a break.

Give yourself and your lover (if you have one) several days and then see how sex and orgasm differs. Most likely those days without will make you feel really ready for a release. Sexual tension is greater and men have a change to rebuild their ejaculatory surplus!  But let me share a word of caution. Don’t waste this opportunity by rushing to have have an orgasm because you are both hot and horny. Spend plenty of time on foreplay and don’t rush sex either.

Coaching Her to Another Orgasm

Women have the capacity for many orgasms in a session. But they just don’t happen. If a woman isn’t already multiorgasmic then she (and you) will need to teach her body how to come more than once. This could take a few weeks or even several months! In most cases she is used to having an orgasm and just cooling down. But there is a short period right after orgasm where she will probably not be interested in additional stimulation. Scientists debate whether this is a true refractory period or not. Men during this period cannot ejaculate again.

The key here is to keep her warmed up but not over stimulated. See if she will allow you to do this even if she doesn’t feel interested. Let her know it will help to get her body going in a few minutes. You can continue to kiss her and massage her but most likely she will not want any contact on her nipples or clitoris due to oversensitivity.Kissing her neck, her back, thighs and other erogenous zones is a good idea. Hold her in your arms. Avoid groping and being aggressive just yet. It is like you are starting all over again.

Depending upon how she had the first orgasm, you may need to use a different sexual technique or position for the second round. For example, if it was through oral sex, it is highly unlikely she wants that same stimulation on her clitoris again. It can even hurt. She may warm up to you and it just may remain too sensitive. That is why communication is so important. So you may want to make love to her (penis in vagina sex) or focus on her g-spot using your penis or fingers. Intercourse may be another option. If you were having intercourse already, slow down the strokes so that you can continue. Use your hands and mouth to build the tension back up. Then you can increase speed and find a rhythm that will allow her to come again when she is ready. Another orgasm may even require a different position. If she was on her back before, then flip her over to her stomach and enter her from behind. She can be either lying down or in a doggie style position allowing you to focus on different areas within her vagina. A position between these two would be propping her hips up on several pillows or using a device such as The Liberator to help you. These are wedge and roll shapes used to make different sex positions much easier. Whatever the position, get foreplay started right away. But start off slow again. Just keep it going by doing little things she likes.  If she cools down too much then it’s all over!

The whole process takes some trial and error and practice. Some days she may be tired, stressed or even have lots on her mind so no matter what you do, she will not have another orgasm. Don’t get frustrated. Be patient and communicate. Ask her to tell you how she is feeling and if she wants you to keep doing what you are doing. If she is usually quiet, let her know you need her help and will be talking to her a little during sex and checking in with her.

Few women really know their orgasmic potential. It takes a special man to help a woman explore her possibilities.

The Best She Ever Had

If you want to see a woman’s face light up, talk to her about the best, most sexually masterful man she ever had.  I know there are many women who have never had this experience. Ones who have never been with a great lover. But it is wonderful to see the twinkle of excitement in the eyes of the lady who has had this pleasure.

Of course everyone’s experience was different. But there are some commonalities. The women all stated that their lover took his time, always. Men often rush to their orgasms like a race car headed to the finish line. But these lovers took their time whether it was slow lovemaking or hot sex. They understood women need time to warm up and helped the process along in natural time.

They somehow learned that sex is just as much about the process as it is about the finish. Great lovers also focus on the woman’s needs. They know they will have an orgasm no matter what so they were able to give the women whatever she desired or needed that day to enjoy the experience.  As part of that process, they figured out exactly what their lover needed to get turned on and to have one or more orgasms. Every woman is different.  A good man learns about women’s bodies and sex. A great one learns about his woman’s body!

These men knew what turned their women on. They communicated about sex and checked in to make sure she was enjoying the experience. They found what type of touch, stroke, caress, lick or even pinch felt good to her.

No it really isn’t rocket science. Just take your time. Be present and focus on her body. Figure out what she needs and then give it to her. I bet, you will reap the rewards of your efforts!

Natural Lube

Many people are eating healthier and want to extend these good choices beyond the kitchen. Today I am going to highlight coconut oil. Right out of the jar organic coconut oil is thick if the temperature is cool and liquid on warm days. Slightly thicker than most purchased silicon or oil based lube, you may find that it lasts longer. In fact you may not even need to reapply. If it is in a thicker state, you will find that it melts immediately upon coming in contact with warm fingers. Coconut oil is a natural product so persons who have reactions to other types of lube may find this to be a great option.

Before using coconut oil make sure no one has any coconut allergies. It is not safe for most condoms as it breaks down the latex. Prices range from around $6 a jar to $15 depending upon the brand and if it is organic. You may find this cheaper than other slippery options from the sex shop.

Other choices for natural lube include g rapeseed oil and also olive oil. But in my research it seems that coconut oi wins out because of its consistency and taste.

Playing with the Senses

Looking for something new and you’re not quite ready for a 50 Shades experience? Why not play with your partner’s senses? Start with a blindfold. Use a scarf, sleep mask or whatever you have on hand to cover each others eyes. Decide who will go first or if you are initiating the experience go for it! Let’s start with sound. Are you going to play soft music or whisper in his or her ear?  Do any of the items you are bringing into the bedroom make any sounds? Then move on to taste. Taste is always a fun so bring some food into the bedroom. Feed your lover chocolate dipped strawberries, French toast with syrup, small pieces of fruit or chocolate. Have your lover guess what he or she is eating. If this is a new relationship make sure you know about any food allergies. You would not want to plan hot sex and end up spending the night in the emergency room!Avoid too much food or food that is to heavy on the stomach if you are going to have sex.

Transitioning into touch, you can use foods that you might want to lick off your partners body such as honey or an organic chocolate sauce. You may also want to have a variety of items on hand that can excite the skin, soothe  it or even tickle. Feathers, ice (if it is hot), etc. You can even buy kits that have several items that are very sensual to the touch.  Remember to start slow and use items that won’t startle your partner… at first. Work your way up to the more intense feelings. Don’t forget to use your hands and body as part of the experience. Add a little massage oil and transition into intimate foreplay or even oral sex. Be aware of your partners feelings, sounds and movement. Notice what he or she likes and dislikes. This can be a lot of fun so don’t forget to laugh!