Skipping Sex Can Improve Orgasm Intensity

Skipping sex for a few days (or more) may not sound like fun, but it can make all the difference in the strength and intensity of male and female orgasm. Similar to the slow buildup of lava in a volcano, your body will use this time culminating in a much greater explosion!

Sure, you can spend time cuddling, kissing and even doing a little more hot and heavy petting and grinding. But do not succumb to temptation. Try activities which relieve stress and tension. Exercise does this and raises endorphin levels too. Consider getting back to that craft or hobby. Take your mind off sex for a few days.  Abstinence can be your friend. The same applies if you are running solo. Don’t have a lover right now? Taking a break from frequent masturbation can result in more intense orgasms. This applies to both men and women, but especially women using a battery operated device. The strong vibrations can cause a woman to feel almost numb after a few days of usage so your body needs a break.

Give yourself and your lover (if you have one) several days and then see how sex and orgasm differs. Most likely those days without will make you feel really ready for a release. Sexual tension is greater and men have a change to rebuild their ejaculatory surplus!  But let me share a word of caution. Don’t waste this opportunity by rushing to have have an orgasm because you are both hot and horny. Spend plenty of time on foreplay and don’t rush sex either.

Coaching Her to Another Orgasm

Women have the capacity for many orgasms in a session. But they just don’t happen. If a woman isn’t already multiorgasmic then she (and you) will need to teach her body how to come more than once. This could take a few weeks or even several months! In most cases she is used to having an orgasm and just cooling down. But there is a short period right after orgasm where she will probably not be interested in additional stimulation. Scientists debate whether this is a true refractory period or not. Men during this period cannot ejaculate again.

The key here is to keep her warmed up but not over stimulated. See if she will allow you to do this even if she doesn’t feel interested. Let her know it will help to get her body going in a few minutes. You can continue to kiss her and massage her but most likely she will not want any contact on her nipples or clitoris due to oversensitivity.Kissing her neck, her back, thighs and other erogenous zones is a good idea. Hold her in your arms. Avoid groping and being aggressive just yet. It is like you are starting all over again.

Depending upon how she had the first orgasm, you may need to use a different sexual technique or position for the second round. For example, if it was through oral sex, it is highly unlikely she wants that same stimulation on her clitoris again. It can even hurt. She may warm up to you and it just may remain too sensitive. That is why communication is so important. So you may want to make love to her (penis in vagina sex) or focus on her g-spot using your penis or fingers. Intercourse may be another option. If you were having intercourse already, slow down the strokes so that you can continue. Use your hands and mouth to build the tension back up. Then you can increase speed and find a rhythm that will allow her to come again when she is ready. Another orgasm may even require a different position. If she was on her back before, then flip her over to her stomach and enter her from behind. She can be either lying down or in a doggie style position allowing you to focus on different areas within her vagina. A position between these two would be propping her hips up on several pillows or using a device such as The Liberator to help you. These are wedge and roll shapes used to make different sex positions much easier. Whatever the position, get foreplay started right away. But start off slow again. Just keep it going by doing little things she likes.  If she cools down too much then it’s all over!

The whole process takes some trial and error and practice. Some days she may be tired, stressed or even have lots on her mind so no matter what you do, she will not have another orgasm. Don’t get frustrated. Be patient and communicate. Ask her to tell you how she is feeling and if she wants you to keep doing what you are doing. If she is usually quiet, let her know you need her help and will be talking to her a little during sex and checking in with her.

Few women really know their orgasmic potential. It takes a special man to help a woman explore her possibilities.

Quit Rabbiting!

I was perusing the internet and I found a term that made me laugh out loud. The word “rabbiting” was used to describe the hurried almost desperate in-and-out motions of a man “thinking” he is making love. But I have no idea how men are supposed to learn these things.

Even though I got a good laugh, a real point was made. Humping up and down does not work for women sexually most of the the time. Women need men who understand the stroke! Let’s see. How can I explain. Imagine that Latino dancer gyrating his hips from left to right, in circles or figure eights. You have seen the African dancers swirling their hips an humping in a undulating motion up and down, right? Well, that is how you are supposed to reach those spots inside you woman. These men have been practicing all their lives! If you think a dance is just a dance then well, I bet you are already in need of some stroke tips!

Using different strokes in a undulating fashion provides both deep and shallow movements allowing your women to find the stroke or strokes that do it for her that day. I know we change too much. But our cycles and hormones cause us to have changes in our moods, sexual sensitivity, horniness, etc.  Varying your stroke and position will also allow you to tap her g-spot in just the right fashion.

If you want to blow her mind get in push-up position and practice different strokes! Make sure you are able to keep up with the rhythm you have set for making love. It is important that you stay on beat. Rabbiting or even stroking all willy nilly without rhythm can be really frustrating. It will back track an orgasm with the quickness! The rhythm you establish together is what builds her orgasm. Find the stoke and the rhythm of movement that makes your lover see fireworks.

Give yourself time. Stroke work takes practice. But your lover will be grateful.

The Best She Ever Had

If you want to see a woman’s face light up, talk to her about the best, most sexually masterful man she ever had.  I know there are many women who have never had this experience. Ones who have never been with a great lover. But it is wonderful to see the twinkle of excitement in the eyes of the lady who has had this pleasure.

Of course everyone’s experience was different. But there are some commonalities. The women all stated that their lover took his time, always. Men often rush to their orgasms like a race car headed to the finish line. But these lovers took their time whether it was slow lovemaking or hot sex. They understood women need time to warm up and helped the process along in natural time.

They somehow learned that sex is just as much about the process as it is about the finish. Great lovers also focus on the woman’s needs. They know they will have an orgasm no matter what so they were able to give the women whatever she desired or needed that day to enjoy the experience.  As part of that process, they figured out exactly what their lover needed to get turned on and to have one or more orgasms. Every woman is different.  A good man learns about women’s bodies and sex. A great one learns about his woman’s body!

These men knew what turned their women on. They communicated about sex and checked in to make sure she was enjoying the experience. They found what type of touch, stroke, caress, lick or even pinch felt good to her.

No it really isn’t rocket science. Just take your time. Be present and focus on her body. Figure out what she needs and then give it to her. I bet, you will reap the rewards of your efforts!

Porn is NOT a Sex Guide

I have friends on both sides of the porn debate. Some feel it is filthy and objectifies and degrades women. Others feel like it is fun for sex. It’s a big turn on and the women make a hell of a lot more money than they do! No matter how we feel, we have to admit that men have grown to believe that porn is for instructional purposes.

Many boys and young men watch porn (it is everywhere on the internet) and then believe that it is a true representation of a sexual relationship. Porn is not the only guilty party. Movies and late night TV are also culprits. I was watching an episode of Game of Thrones where there were two scenes with women throwing themselves at men to give them sex. Our young guys see this and think  that they are going to sit back and go for a ride down the highway of bliss while the women do all the work! I don’t think we do much of anything to keep men from developing these crazy ideals of sex! We certainly do not educate them in the ways of pleasuring a women. Believing in porn will have you thinking women love to be in acrobatic positions, scream their heads off no matter what you do and that they love pile driver sex! There are a lot more comments I can make, but I will digress and save you from the graphic details.

If I could scream it from the mountaintops, I would tell all of our men that porn and movie sex is fake. The majority of women want you to lead. It is sexy when you are “the man” and take charge. Yes your lady might switch it up when she is horny. But most of the time she wants you to play a major role. You can’t just lay there with your pants off waiting for her to jump your bones!