Great Sex with Erectile Dysfunction

Over 30 million men in the US are dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED) and are unable to sustain an erection to have sex. This could be due to age, prostate cancer, diabetes or other illness, physical damage (e.g. car accident) or even medication which causes ED. But the end result is often the same: a degrading or nonexistent sex life. This does not have to be the case. While it would be great if the medical community addressed this issue, it is unlikely that patients will be offered some type of coaching or counseling to help them maintain or reestablish their sex life.

Even if you cannot have intercourse (penis in vagina sex) there are still many sex acts which you can participate in such as Tantric body and sexual massage, oral sex, manual stimulation, etc. If you have some function, you can work with your lover to receive pleasure based on the abilities you do have.

Communication is very important. Your lover needs to understand how your are feeling, your current abilities and frustration levels and how you envision maintaining a sex life. Set goals together to communicate and to have sex. Plan fun romantic dates that include role play, sexy foods or even sex toys! Read romance or erotic novels together. Erotic novels tend to have more explicit sexual scenes which might be a turn on for both of you. Increase your time spent on foreplay. Make intimacy which includes hugs, kissing, squeezes and maybe even a few light butt slaps a regular part of daily time together. If anything you are reading today is new to you, consider adding them into your bag of tricks! Just click on blog above for many new ideas.

Remember, your lover may be frustrated even it is not outwardly visible. We are sexual beings so it will be up to you to make sure you are not being sexually selfish. Give your lover great oral sex. Learn to use your hands to give your lover orgasms. Know the different g-spot techniques so she can have multiple orgasms. There will be times when you may not “feel like it” or your situation may be such that you do not want sex at all. Still, take care of your lover and express your love through regular intimacy and by gifting a few orgasms.

Would you like help maneuvering through this stressful time? Have you given up on a great sex life but are realizing now it is not too late, your sex life doesn’t have to be over? Dr. Harris offers private coaching by phone and 3-month programs. Persons in relationship with someone who has ED are also encouraged to get help to learn how to provide support and help maintain a great sex life. You can go here to sign up for an appointment: Save Save





The Power of a Hug

Power of a hug

Hugs are a way to share energy, ground ourselves, show love and bond. There are good hugs and bad ones. I recall receiving a hug from a man once who stood eight inches away from me, reached around and patted me on the back! What the hell was that? I had no idea. His hug was  less intimate than a handshake! So awkward (to me) to say the least. It was sad that when everyone in the group was asked to give a hug, this guy wasn’t able to participate.  We were all adults and this was not a Sade Hawkins dance with hovering teachers!  I mean, if you are going to hug someone for any reason, commit to it! I am not saying you have to squeeze the breath out of someone or squish boobs. But do offer up something worth the few seconds you are embracing each other.

I have also received romance novel hugs where the other person held me tightly as if we were lovers separated by the sea for months! Hugs are powerful! Hugs are healing! Sometimes a hug is not just a hug! When a man hugs his lover, this hug represents strength, masculinity, security, love, power, dominance or numerous other characteristics. Women hug to show love, compassion and caring. As an added bonus, frequent, long sensuous hugs among lovers reduces stress and releases oxytocin (the feel-good hormone) and has lasting mental and physical effects.

Take the time to hug your lover and be a good receiver of hugs. it takes two to tango! These hugs may even lead to kissing or other physical intimacy. But do not expect sex every time you hug! It will cause your lover to run from you if he or she is not in the mood! Hug because they make you both feel wonderful and hug more often!

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Why Women Need a Sexual Voice

Why women need a sexual voice

The term sexual voice has several meanings. Today, I am discussing the sexual, primal sounds women make during sex. It seems no matter where we have sex, we are within an earshot of others including neighbors, family members, children or even the people in the hotel room across from us. As a result, it is rare that women have the opportunity to enjoy sex without holding their voice. A woman’s sexual utterances, screams, moans and grunts represent what is happening to her body. When she holds it back in her throat, she is also holding it back in her pussy! It is like contracting one muscle in your arm or leg and others also contract automatically. Sadly, women are forced to always hold something back which keeps her from knowing her true sexuality. Until she is given the freedom on a regular basis to stop holding in her true nature, she will never know how powerful her orgasms can be.

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Wake Her Seductively

Wake her

If you want morning sex then initiate it the right way. Get yourself cleaned up first if you can without waking her. No one likes morning breath! Then proceed to softly kiss her on her back, arms, neck or wherever she like it. Do not grope or grab her boobs! It is too much and can feel like an all out assault! Take it slow and read the signals she is sending.

If you know it is going to take more than a back rub and few kisses in her special spots, then get your ass up early and make breakfast. Better yet, clean the house before making breakfast and allow her to reward you! The message I always want to make clear is that women do not respond well to advances if they know there is nothing at the end of the rainbow for them. Women are grateful for generous lovers. And they show this gratitude by wanting sex more, giving more blow jobs and even initiating sex!

So with that in mind, remember that sex doesn’t start in the morning. Did you hug and kiss her before you went to bed. Did you pay her a compliment the day before? Set the stage so you can seduce her first thing in the morning.

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Know Your Body

Sexy beautiful girl in underclothes

A woman’s body is a work of art. It is important that it is loved and cherished by her owner. No silly, not the that kind of owner. Each woman should get to know every inch of her own body so that she can take care of it. It is sad when I hear women are afraid to touch their vulvas or vaginas. How will they ever know when something is not right if they do not know what right is?

If you have never made friends with your beautiful parts in that nether region, grab a hand mirror and take a moment to explore your treasures! Notice the feel of your skin in different areas. Notice your wonderful juices in and outside of your vagina! It is so amazing how women can become so wet when aroused!  If you want to have a baby one day, knowing the viscosity (thickness) of your cervical fluid will let you know your fertility cycle. Now remember, vulvas come in many different colors ranging from light pink to dark brown. Like a fingerprint each woman’s labia (inner lip) also looks different. Some are smooth while others are wavy like coral. Some are short and others are long like miniature wings! Notice what your vagina feels like. Rumply and wavy? Yup, there is a reason for that. Men were not made to be circumcised (they end up losing about a 3 x 5 piece of skin with thousands of nerve endings decreasing pleasure significantly). So the wavy skin in the vagina holds on the foreskin during intercourse making thrusting more of a sliding action. Isn’t it wonderful how our bodies were made to work together? Well, continue to explore and get to know your yoni. It is a wonderful thing to be a woman.

And please, don’t be afraid to masturbate. Stop with the guilt from childhood! You are a grown-ass woman now. Take your power back and don’t let childhood rules run your adult life! This is important. If you do not understand the kinds of touches that turn you on, how can you guide your lover? When I said know your body, I really meant that! Get to know your erogenous zones: the touches that get you off, the intensity or lightness of touch and even the strokes that feel good. Then share them with your lovers. If you are between lovers right now, take yourself on a date and enjoy some self-love!

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