Great Sex with Erectile Dysfunction

Over 30 million men in the US are dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED) and are unable to sustain an erection to have sex. This could be due to age, prostate cancer, diabetes or other illness, physical damage (e.g. car accident) or even medication which causes ED. But the end result is often the same: a degrading or nonexistent sex life. This does not have to be the case. While it would be great if the medical community addressed this issue, it is unlikely that patients will be offered some type of coaching or counseling to help them maintain or reestablish their sex life.

Even if you cannot have intercourse (penis in vagina sex) there are still many sex acts which you can participate in such as Tantric body and sexual massage, oral sex, manual stimulation, etc. If you have some function, you can work with your lover to receive pleasure based on the abilities you do have.

Communication is very important. Your lover needs to understand how your are feeling, your current abilities and frustration levels and how you envision maintaining a sex life. Set goals together to communicate and to have sex. Plan fun romantic dates that include role play, sexy foods or even sex toys! Read romance or erotic novels together. Erotic novels tend to have more explicit sexual scenes which might be a turn on for both of you. Increase your time spent on foreplay. Make intimacy which includes hugs, kissing, squeezes and maybe even a few light butt slaps a regular part of daily time together. If anything you are reading today is new to you, consider adding them into your bag of tricks! Just click on blog above for many new ideas.

Remember, your lover may be frustrated even it is not outwardly visible. We are sexual beings so it will be up to you to make sure you are not being sexually selfish. Give your lover great oral sex. Learn to use your hands to give your lover orgasms. Know the different g-spot techniques so she can have multiple orgasms. There will be times when you may not “feel like it” or your situation may be such that you do not want sex at all. Still, take care of your lover and express your love through regular intimacy and by gifting a few orgasms.

Would you like help maneuvering through this stressful time? Have you given up on a great sex life but are realizing now it is not too late, your sex life doesn’t have to be over? Dr. Harris offers private coaching by phone and 3-month programs. Persons in relationship with someone who has ED are also encouraged to get help to learn how to provide support and help maintain a great sex life. You can go here to sign up for an appointment: Save Save





5 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

5 ways to spice up your sex life

Ready to add a little light spice to your sex life? Don’t worry. No hard core kink, bondage or taboo topics this time. But get ready they are coming! Right now lets look at 5 fun ways to bust the bedroom boredom blues!

    1. Get out of the bedroom  Try adding some hot spice in the kitchen! Give your lover oral on the counters, sex it up on the kitchen island or eat food off of each others bodies on the table! Don’t forget the living room couch or bending her over your home office desk! Just plan ahead.  Grab towels to fold up when bending her over sharp edges and to protect fabric from the fountains of love juices. Remember not to leave any evidence for the kids!
    2. Light bondage could be fun  Visit your local sex shop for some fur covered handcuffs, satin rope and blindfolds. You can also improvise with scarves, rope, ladies stockings or nighttime eye masks.  Once cuffed or tied and blindfolded, feed your lover desserts, fruit or even a meal. Tickle him or her with a feather or if you both consent, you can try a little butt slapping or flogging! Don’t forget that safe word!
    3. Role play for a hot and sexy night  You both can choose to act out your evening as totally different people. Consider your favorite movie actors, celebrities or TV Personalities.  Adding costumes will take it to a whole new level! Oh yea, remember the wigs and props! Why not choose a fun theme like the wild west, pirates in search of booty or law enforcement officer protecting the family jewels from a thief who just got caught? Take your role play outdoors and be a john looking for a lady of the night. Choose a location such as a bar, club or restaurant for the excursion.  Got a little extra cash? Have her entice you at the hotel bar and then have your way with her in your hotel room. Ladies….don’t forget to get paid for your services!
    4. Play a sex game  There are so many games that will introduce you to new positions and sex acts that may not normally be on the menu. You can purchase them at local sex shops or online. Try doing an internet search so that you can read others’ reviews and comments.
    5. Strip tease and lap dances! I bet you already have a few movies in mind! Put on some tunes. Set out some refreshments and create a club atmosphere. Got a strobe light? She can do a lap dance or a hot burlesque routine wearing some sexy lingerie.  Get him dancing and stripping like Channing Tatum in the movie Magic Mike. Make sure he has on some satin undies so he can really get into his role!

Well, Sweet Cheeks, was it good for you? Want to read more on love and sex? More Please


The Cunnilingus Connoisseur

The connoisseur

There is nothing like words that are NOT supposed to go together but do.  Today we are discussing the connoisseurs of cunnilingus. Let’s just be honest here. Women love oral sex. I mean really love it especially since so many cannot orgasm during intercourse (penis in vagina sex)! For far to many, it represents the only way their lover can help them to have an orgasm. It feels great to have a wet tongue sliding across the most secret of secrets over and over again. It is an easy way to make most women orgasm rather quickly if you know what you are doing. Ladies love a man who loves oral sex…a connoisseur of sorts I’ll say. Here is what our good friend Webster has to say on the topic of a connoisseur:

con·nois·seur   noun \ˌkä-nə-ˈsər also -ˈsu̇r\

:a person who knows a lot about something : an expert in a particular subject

: expert; especially : one who understands the details, technique, or principles of an art and

: one who enjoys with discrimination and appreciation of subtleties

I couldn’t have defined it better. Now lets combine it with cunnilingus and voila we have something special! A Cunnilingus Connoisseur is a man who enjoys giving his lover pleasure, appreciates her body and her sexuality and has mastered the art of oral sex. He is an unselfish lover who takes his time allowing her anticipation and tension to build…slowly at first. You Cunnilingus Connoisseurs know exactly what I am talking about!

Yes, I know. Cunnilingus does take some oral stamina which of course, develops with practice.  But, I think we all can say it is worth every lick. If you are a Cunnilingus Connoisseur, wear this badge of honor proudly. You are truly appreciated by women across the globe.

Food and Sex the Perfect Combination

strawberries and sex

We often think of food and sex in relation to crazy, freaky movies. Remember 9 1/2 weeks? Mickey Rourke feeds Kim Bassinger just about anything he can find in the fridge while her eyes are closed. Then as honey drips down her thighs from her outstretched tongue, the scene goes sexual.  I am sure lots of moviegoers in the late 80’s pulled out the whipped cream when they got home that night!

The food and sex combination is not as taboo as it used to be. Food in the bedroom or sex in the kitchen can be a lot of sexy messiness or clean fun. At the most basic level, you can enjoy your favorite treats just before sex as part of your foreplay time. You can feed each other, enjoy tasteful kisses and sensuously eat a few bites off of your lover’s body. Now, you can take it to the next level by going beyond a snack to using your lover as your plate. Think about your favorites such as sushi, ice cream sundaes, veggies and dip, chocolate and caramel syrups, candy, flavored whip cream (yes it comes in chocolate!), chocolate dipped strawberries or other fruit. The possibilities are endless.

You can use food as a sex toy to awaken the senses and feel new sensations. Blindfolds are great forcing your lover to wait in anticipation while he, she or they focus in on the smells, textures and temperature of the food before tasting. You can lightly caress, tap, smear, rub and tickle! Always start with slow sensual movements. Give your lover time to get turned on by the different feelings and memories the food evokes. Try fruit pops, ice cream or cold foods when it is a hot day. Imagine sliding strawberries dipped in chocolate sauce sprayed with a touch of whipped cream across your lovers torso, chest, neck and lips. See yourself feeding him or her and then using your tongue like a cat to clean up the chocolate dripping and smeared across your lovers body. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? The best part is, you get to have dessert twice!

WARNING: Make sure you are not placing food in the vagina where it could later lead to infection. If your lover is blindfolded, make sure you remove seeds, pits or stems. Let your lover know not to bite down if there are foods that are hard. Test any hot food before giving it to your lover unless of course, you are into that. Finally, make sure your lover is not allergic to any foods you wish to eat off of him or her. There is nothing like a bad reaction to end your sex session really fast!

Skipping Sex Can Improve Orgasm Intensity

loving couple













Skipping sex for a few days (or more) may not sound like fun, but it can make all the difference in the strength and intensity of male and female orgasm. Similar to the slow buildup of lava in a volcano, your body will use this time culminating in a much greater explosion!

Sure, you can spend time cuddling, kissing and even doing a little more hot and heavy petting and grinding. But do not succumb to temptation. Try activities which relieve stress and tension. Exercise does this and raises endorphin levels too. Consider getting back to that craft or hobby. Take your mind off sex for a few days.  Abstinence can be your friend. The same applies if you are running solo. Don’t have a lover right now? Taking a break from frequent masturbation can result in more intense orgasms. This applies to both men and women, but especially women using a battery operated device. The strong vibrations can cause a woman to feel almost numb after a few days of usage so your body needs a break.

Give yourself and your lover (if you have one) several days and then see how sex and orgasm differs. Most likely those days without will make you feel really ready for a release. Sexual tension is greater and men have a change to rebuild their ejaculatory surplus!  But let me share a word of caution. Don’t waste this opportunity by rushing to have have an orgasm because you are both hot and horny. Spend plenty of time on foreplay and don’t rush sex either.


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